I have a pet peeve. Actually I have many. Like, having to walk through cigarette smoke to get into a store or restaurant. Or, tall people sitting in front of me in a theater. And gum thrown out on sidewalks or road where I can step in it and have chewing gum strung everywhere….chewing gum that’s been in someone else’s mouth…..ewwww. But, I digress. The particular pet peeve I’m thinking about today is those folks who get on Facebook and post about what amazing, sweet, caring, loving individuals their significant other is when I know good and well they were on the phone with their best friend, mom, sister just the day before complaining about what a slack, selfish, unloving jerk that person is. Lack of authenticity. Say it like it is or keep your lip zipped. Or, I believe Thumper (you know….the rabbit in Bambi) said it this way, “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.” But, please, don’t lie!
The reason this is on my mind is because several months ago, I wrote a blog titled God’s Correction that centered around the struggles the dear husband and I have had and God’s way of calling my attention to the real problem. It wasn’t really nice, but it wasn’t mean either. I said in that post that I felt authenticity was vital to my writing being effective for God’s purpose. So, in that spirit, I thought y’all might like an update.
We’re doing good. Really. Perfect? Hahahaha….no. But, things are good between us. We did exactly what God calls us to do, what we knew to do and weren’t, what God spoke to my heart that Sunday in church….we put God back at the center of our marriage, where He belongs.
We didn’t mean to not have God there. I think life just got hard and it became easier to complain and grumble and hurt than to look ourselves in the mirror and admit our mistakes. I think keeping God at the center of your marriage can look a bit different for everyone. But, for us, it looks a little bit like this: We bought a marriage devotional and dedicated ourselves to reading out of it. Maybe not every night, but most nights. At first, we struggled, because we didn’t really like the devotional we had picked up. But, God pointed out to me that even if we disagreed with what the devotional said, it gave us a topic of conversation to get communication flowing again. We pray for each other. We recognize that when we’re mad at each other, that it is most likely a tactic of the enemy to distract us from what we’re supposed to be doing. And, we love each other. I mean, we do little things for one anther, we hug more, we say I love you, we ask how the other one is (and wait for the answer!). But, I think it’s important to note that it’s not those things in and of themselves that make our marriage better, it’s the very act of inviting God back into the middle of our mess.
So. There’s my update. You may be wondering why I think you should care. Maybe you do or maybe you don’t. But, that’s not really the point here. The point is that we all get in situations where we can feel lost or stranded or stuck and a lot of the time, I think it’s because we’ve gotten so busy doing that we’ve forgotten to invite God in. It’s easy to do. Life is busy. And crazy. And hard. But, when God gives us a task, He never asks us to do it alone. In fact, Jesus said, “apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5).
The Bible also says:
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Psalm 127:1 NASB
“Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. “But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49 NASB
Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:5 NASB
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. Matthew 6:33a NASB
Are you feeling lost or stranded or stuck? I so understand! The answer is clear. Call out to God. I promise He’ll answer. And, if you invite Him in and let Him take control, the situation may not change much, but you’ll change and He’ll give you everything you need to not just survive, but maybe even thrive.
Be blessed and tell someone you love them!