As I mentioned here before, many years ago, at the ages of 28 and 26, my husband and I heard the doctor say the words, “You have MS. It probably won’t kill you.” In an instant, my world rocked off its axis. My sweet husband had been having odd symptoms for a couple of years and to be honest, by this point, the diagnosis wasn’t surprising. Yet, it still signaled an end to the life I knew. I’m thankful that, right that second, I didn’t really know how much.
That year turned out to be an especially crazy one. We had just bought an old house that needed lots of love (and a fair amount of money). The month after the diagnosis, we found out our first child was on her way. Later that year, when the dear husband’s diagnosis wasn’t quite so scary and my belly was huge with baby, my parents suffered a catastrophic house fire. Then, to end the year, we welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world.
Life quickly got much harder than we could have imagined. The doctor told us that a second job wasn’t possible for the dear husband. And overtime wasn’t wise either. Add to that the fact that I simply couldn’t make enough money to afford daycare and you have a perfect storm for rotten finances. We lost the old house several years later and slunk to an apartment to lick our wounds.
The time in that apartment proved to be a time for healing, in many ways. We had grown closer to God. We had grown closer to each other. Without the constant stress and worry of finances, we were able to give our daughter the time and attention she needed. Only one thing was lacking – physical healing for Keith.
We had prayed for so long and had prayed so fervently for healing, but it simply hadn’t come. Finally, God worked it in our hearts to quit asking. Yes, I can hear you now quoting scripture at me. Yes, I know the Bible says persistence is rewarded (Luke 18:1-8). Yes, I know the Bible says by His stripes we are healed (Isaiah 53:). I know. Yet, we somehow knew that God didn’t want us at the altar every week seeking healing. We didn’t understand why. We just knew.
Let me assure you that we got an earful over our decision to do what we felt like God was telling us to do. One person even went so far to tell me that if I only had enough faith, my husband would be healed. I was devastated. But, we knew what God had planted in us. He wanted us to seek Him, not just a healing. He wanted us to devote ourselves to Him completely, MS and all. He wanted our hearts – all of our hearts – including the part that was a bit angry that healing hadn’t come.
In all, Keith had MS for seven years. Then. It came. Healing. Did you read that? HEALING! Total, head to toe, doctor-baffling healing! When we reached the milestone that meant Keith had been healed longer than he had the disease, we were astounded. And could easily look back and see how God had directed our paths, even when we thought the whole world was falling apart.
I’m telling you about this today for many reasons. One, Keith has another health issue that we are asking God to heal. Two – and most importantly – there are those who would say that as believers, we absolutely will be healed. I’ve got to tell you, I haven’t seen any 1,000 year old folks running around, so eventually something is going to take us out. In my mind, that alone is proof that God doesn’t always heal. But, He can. And He does. He heals. I live with walking, talking proof. But, if He doesn’t, He’s still God and worthy of all our praise.
I’ve heard it over and over that if we only have enough faith, we will be healed. Maybe. I can tell you this – for us, the lesson was that we had replaced seeking God with seeking healing for Keith’s body. Here’s what I believe, true faith is believing that God is good even when the healing doesn’t come. And that’s what I want you to know about me today. I have enough faith to believe that no matter what happens, God is good. And, accordingly, I will serve Him!
Be blessed and tell someone you love them.